My dear cousin Maddy lived with her family in Michigan. With the approach of summer, Maddy's family often made arrangements to send her to visit the Canadian side of the family in Ontario. Her favourite cousin, Lydia, lived in Stratford, Ontario, so naturally Maddy's preferred vacation spot was that charming, small town. Maddy often visited and stayed with Lydia and her family, but sometimes bunked out at Aunt Violet's house. Aunt Vi loved having her niece visit her and treated her famously! Maddy got to know Aunt Vi very well....very, very well, in fact.
Aunt Vi had, as do we all, some quirks. To put it delicately, her bathroom habits set her apart from the crowd and made a definite and lasting impression upon little Maddy. The inevitable noises that often accompanied Aunt Vi's 'rituals' were, shall we say, above and beyond. She wasn't shy, our Aunt V, and did not hesitate to discharge, rather audibly, various bodily vapours wherever she happened to be. As she aged, she often had to excuse herself when visiting others, and retreat to the comfort station where she would entertain the troops with melodious trumpeting. Those in nearby rooms, on the hearing-end of said discharges, would squirm uncomfortably in their seats, feeling extreme distress for her, but she would emerge from the water closet as if nothing unusual had taken place. No hint of embarrassment coloured her countenance. She was unaware of their discomfort and would just continue on where she had left off in the conversation.
Many years passed. Dear cousin Maddy now had her own grown-up family and lived in Chicago. She hadn't seen Aunt Vi, who was by then quite elderly, for many a year. One summer found Maddy in London, Ontario at a well-known rummage sale. After doing the rounds, the urge to visit the W.C. overcame her and she made her way down the stairs to said room. As she was seated in one of the stalls, some very familiar-sounding groans and distinct reverberations shattered the silence. Maddy hesitated several seconds and then whispered, "Aunt Vi?" From the cubicle beside hers she heard, "Yes? WHO IS THAT?"
Aunt Vi had, as do we all, some quirks. To put it delicately, her bathroom habits set her apart from the crowd and made a definite and lasting impression upon little Maddy. The inevitable noises that often accompanied Aunt Vi's 'rituals' were, shall we say, above and beyond. She wasn't shy, our Aunt V, and did not hesitate to discharge, rather audibly, various bodily vapours wherever she happened to be. As she aged, she often had to excuse herself when visiting others, and retreat to the comfort station where she would entertain the troops with melodious trumpeting. Those in nearby rooms, on the hearing-end of said discharges, would squirm uncomfortably in their seats, feeling extreme distress for her, but she would emerge from the water closet as if nothing unusual had taken place. No hint of embarrassment coloured her countenance. She was unaware of their discomfort and would just continue on where she had left off in the conversation.
Many years passed. Dear cousin Maddy now had her own grown-up family and lived in Chicago. She hadn't seen Aunt Vi, who was by then quite elderly, for many a year. One summer found Maddy in London, Ontario at a well-known rummage sale. After doing the rounds, the urge to visit the W.C. overcame her and she made her way down the stairs to said room. As she was seated in one of the stalls, some very familiar-sounding groans and distinct reverberations shattered the silence. Maddy hesitated several seconds and then whispered, "Aunt Vi?" From the cubicle beside hers she heard, "Yes? WHO IS THAT?"
Maybe that's why they wrote the song "the sounds of silence"! Oh had Auntie heard that! On the other hand, at least you got a story out of it!
ReplyDeleteBelle
One that we know and love!
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